Gege approved this recipe by saying “mom, it is sooo yummy.” Oh, I am so flattered. :-) It’s really not easy to get such good appraisal from Gege, who used to be a super picky eater.
I am practicing a more balanced and slow-down life with the mindset of “take it easy”: Motherhood – Don’t compare the kid’s performance with the best one in the field.
It’s quite well known that Chinese parents are “tiger moms” and they push very hard their kids as well as themselves in an attempt to raise academically successful kids. Being a Chinese mom, I am often tempted to compare my kids’ progress with their peers and strived to be the best. “Someone’s kid swims very well, you should start to learn swim too.” “some kid is a chess champion, you should practise more of your chess.” etc.etc… No. I know this kind of thinking is not good. After all, the purpose of motherhood is to raise happy and healthy kids, not academically successful kids. That’s the basic point.
The other day, when I read a discussion thread regarding the topic of how to raise more independent kids in one of the popular forums, one of the comments was very inspiring to me, “The other day I went to see my friend’s kid play football. His name is Jim. One of the kids on the field was very active and played very well. In comparison, Jim wasn’t very active and showed somewhat constraint during the play. However, if you didn’t compare Jim’s performance with the very active kid, he played quite to a normal standard of his age. Jim’s parents didn’t compare his performance with the other kid. Thus, the whole family actually had a good time on the field.”
Yeah, I can’t agree more: Don’t compare your kid’s performance with the best one in the field. I have to constantly remind myself of this. Here are the three key point that I determined to do:-
1. Purposely ignore some of the childish behaviors of my kids. Allow them to act silly sometimes. Kids are kids. They act according to their age. I don’t request them to behave according to adult’s standard.
2. In a team or with some other kids, I don’t only look at the best kids in the group and compare my kids’ performance to that kid’s. My kids have their own talents and progress. As a mom, I should and have to learn not to compare.
3. Enjoy my kids’ progress. Encourage more. Absolutely no negative or belittling words.
Motherhood isn’t easy. It’s a learning process for me. I’ll monitor closely of my own motherhood progress, instead of staring at my kids’ performances. For now, I’ll to stick to the above three points.
I am practicing a more balanced and slow-down life with the mindset of “take it easy”: Motherhood – don’t worry too much about the kids.
Mom is the life and soul of a family. She determines the atmosphere of the family life. With an unhappy mom, it’s almost impossible to have a happy family. However, most of the moms are worried too much of their kids: school, work, health, marriage — almost everything of their kids. How can a mom like this be a happy mom?
According to the Law of Attraction, you can get whatever you want, as long as you have strong enough desire.
If a mom believes her kids have the power and ability to deal with all the issues and difficulties in their lives, this “believe” will become a “bless”. As a consequence, her kids will become truly blessed because of such strong blessing from their mom. On the contrary, if a mom worries too much of their kids, this “worry” may become a “curse”. The aftereffect might be her kids becoming what she worries about.
Therefore, mom, please examine your each and every flashing thinking in your mind: do you truly believe and thus bless your kids, or do you worry too much? Truly, if you love your kids, don’t worry for them, believe in them, bless them!
I read this Chinese article from here. This article came in just in time. I need such positive thinking. Kids have their own way of life, and they have to learn to face and experience their own life. As a mom, the best I can do is to believe in them, trust them, and bless them.