(photo credit to http://www.edupic.net)
Recently I was taught a heavy lesson by life. This incident had a huge impact on me. When I had time to sit down, calmed myself down, and talked with my heart deeply, I realized that this incident was caused largely by my high ego. I used to care so much about what others said about me behind my back and I was always in an anxious state of mood which might be caused by a word from an unrelated person. I used to be a tough person, and it was nearly impossible for me to forgive anyone if he or she did or said something awful to me. And again, I was very poor at self-control, and I would become very angry when I heard some bad words about me (or even whenever I recalled them from my memory) and tend to direct these kinds of anger towards those who I loved most and stayed with me. What a vicious circle of emotions! What an awful life I had led!
From this point of view, this incident was good for me. It waked me up. It forced me to look deeply into the real problem with me and my life, offered me an opportunity to touch the bottom of my heart to realize whom I love and care of, and made me think over what kind of life is what really I expect.
I come to this point of my life. Good or bad, it is a product and an accumulation of my past. I will and have to accept it as it is. I won’t make the past be the blocks of my present and my future. Instead, I will make it the stepping stone to the NEW-ME. From now onwards, I am determined to lead a brand new life, which is positive and meaningful, happy and relaxed, simple but deep, and totally different from the past. I summarized the brand new life as “an open golden heart, a peaceful mind, and a simple life”.
An open golden heart
If the heart is open, it would like to hear different voices from all sources, and it would become tolerant; if the heart is purified like gold, it would like to absorb the essence and reject the dross.
A peaceful mind
With an open golden heart, a peaceful mind will come consequently and naturally. It is easy for us to tolerate and understand different opinions from different people, no matter the opinions are positive or negative, about ourselves or about anything else. We would not waste our energy and time on doubting, questioning, and sulking. We would thus focus on NOW, the present with a peaceful mind. (I am reading the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and I would like to share more what I learn from this book later.)
A simple life
A simple life is focused on the present; the resentment and bitterness from the past are perused and left where they were and they were not able to affect the happiness and relaxation of NOW; the anxiety and uneasiness for the future are heard and understood, but they are not allowed to filled out our heart; our heart is only for the appreciation of LIFE, for the beauty and happiness of PRESENT. We put our effort to achieve our goal in life, but our life is not dragged or distorted by any specific goal. We are practical, but not sophisticated; we are diligent, but not aggressive; we are efficient, but not demanding; we are fulfilling, but still make ourselves available to appreciate the beauty of flowers along the road.
I understand that it is easy for me to learn lessons from life. I may be deterred and impressed by what happened. I may be determined to lead a better life (To be honest, this is not the first time that I make such kind of resolution.). There is a high chance that with the passage of time, the impression of the MOMENT would get dim, and I would shrink back to where I was, to the old unhappy me. To leave me no latitude, to make sure that this time I mean it, I take the following actions:-
- Seek God’s help by adopting the Christian in faith. I had a lot of chances to follow Jesus Christ when I was even in Singapore, but due to this reason (excuse sometimes) or that, I only became Christian recently, on Feb 14, 2010. I got to know some excellent people from the Church, and I went to an international gathering at the Living Stream Ministry. I also bought a Bible with annotations. I feel blessed and strong with belief in my heart. I’ll be a pious Christian, to follow Jesus Christ devoutly. I would like to share more on this.
- Reading spiritual books and write down what I learn. I am currently reading a book called “the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. This book makes me find out where I should focus on in life. I just finished part of the book of “Deep and Simple” by Bo Lozoff. This book makes me feel peaceful and calm. I would like to make a book list and a reading plan later.
- Write down the perception of life in this blog. In this way, I will analyze what I am thinking, record what I am doing, and appreciate what I feel grateful. The blog is also a good way to share and communicate with others.