Let go of my Ego

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The Ego here refers to self-importance, self-esteem.

You may think that Ego is a positive word, and it is good for
us to have a high Ego.  With it, we tend
to be aspiring and working hard to achieve a highly-set life goal.  So why let it go?

I fully understand this way of thinking because I used to be
a person with high Ego (I am afraid that I am still inclined to be self-conscious
on some part of life.  I guess to correct
this takes time.).  Being a person with
high education and a model student as far as imperial examinations were
concerned, I developed a high ego, and I could not accept most of the criticisms
and any disparagement.

Due to high ego, I felt hurt when other people said or did anything
bad to me, and in consequence, the negative feelings, such as depress, resentment,
complaint, anger, etc., would be my natural responses.  With a high Ego, I never experienced true happiness
in life.

I realized for quite some time that my high Ego could took
control of my feeling, affected the interpersonal relationships, and led me to irrational
decisions.  But I never determined to acknowledge
it and eliminate it.  Sometimes I was even
proud of it since it showed off my strength and toughness.

However, recently life taught me a heavy lesson.  This lesson shocked me, and thoroughly
changed my thinking.  When I calmed down,
I analyzed how it happened, and realized that the prime culprit was my high Ego.
I was forced to face it seriously and
resolved to dismiss it.

To remove the hardened high ego, it is essential to
recognize how it works.  Nadia did an
awesome analysis on this, and she said: any
thought not rooted in love and compassion is coming from ego
.  Ego may control us in various forms, sometimes
emotional, and sometimes even logical. But the
underlying emotion is the key in deciphering an ego thought.  The ego will never ever come from a place of love
and positivity
.  The idea from her
may surprise you since it seems going to the extremes.  But it is so true.  I can tell from my experience.  If you tend to argue or question on this idea,
it looks as if your ego is working in a logical way. J

PS: I felt so embarrassed this afternoon while I wrote this
article because I was tested by my high ego and I failed.  At work, I guessed
or sensed
someone nagged me behind my back, and then I felt my heart beat
faster which was caused by anger.  Thereafter,
I sent out an email on the issue involved.
From an objective point of view, this email was good, clear, and
informative.  But I knew there was a
slight resentment behind my action motive.  Ok. I have to admit that it is not easy to
discard the obstinate high ego.  And now,
at the moment, after introspection, I realized that I was just taken control by
the ego.  As soon as I know this, I feel the
peaceful mind back and the ego disappeared.
However, it seems that I realized the ego with a time delay.  I hope with time going on, I can identify the
ego on the spot and let it disappeared right away.

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3 thoughts on “Let go of my Ego

  1. Cannot agree more!I was reading John 13 this week and found something helpful to my sensitive ego. If you have Bible, you may read it too. Let me know if it helps.

  2. Thanks, Annie. To update you good news, I have been following Jesus Christ in faith since Feb. I just started reading the New Testament. But I read the Bible every night together with the Sisters from Church, so I shall read John 13 soon. Thanks for your suggestion.

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