People person

Rena is one of the sisters in our Bible study group.  She went to our house for the pot-luck gathering last Saturday.

When the party was over and people were about to leave, Rena suggested me to contact my next-next-door neighbor since the neighbor has two children in their family, and they would like to know our family but have no chance to do so.  I asked Rena how she knew all about these.  She answered that when she came to the party, she parked her car in front of our next-next-door neighbor’s house, and then they had a good talk for about 10 minutes. 

I felt that Rena is amazing.  Obviously she is a people person because she is able to communicate with a stranger for 10 minutes.   I’m actually kind of jealous of her. I always want to be a people person too, but don’t know how.

One of the biggest blocks along my way is, of course, shyness. I am an inverted person and not good at communication.  I am training myself to become a more open-minded people, and I think I improved a lot on this part, but still a long way to go ahead.

The second blocks along the way is that I’m kind of practical.  I always think in my mind those utilitarian ideas, like what I’ll learn from this person, if there is any chance I can do business with, etc.  Stuck in these sorts of thinking, I can’t fully pay my attention on what the other person talk about, or just simply enjoy communication with others.  The solution – I just let go of those practical ideas, since if only I can establish good relationship with somebody, is it possible to talk about doing business in the future.  It is not vice versa the other way round.

The third block is that it is not easy for me to pick a topic to talk.  One of the reasons is because I am not relaxed enough, I am nervous to find a topic to talk, but the funny thing is that it is a vicious circle: the more nervous I am, the more awkward I can find a topic.  The secret?  Be relaxed!

The fourth block is that talking to people with a low and murmur voice.  Talking with people with a loud, clear, and cheerful voice is the most important secret.  I just practiced it with one of my colleague G.  Usually I am afraid to talk with him because I am afraid of being rejected.  But when I talked with him just now with a loud and cheerful voice, he literally smiled.  It really works!

The fifth block is that when I talk with people, I don’t put all my attention on the people.  I usually drift my mind for another topic.  This is an awful habit.  I need to change by practicing focus on the specific person I am talking with.

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