How to communicate with kids

Last Saturday, when I served in the Church toddlers’ room and took care of kids, I made a wrong decision over an issue which made me feel embarrassed a lot till now.  I need to review the issue and learn a lesson from it.

Eric walked around in the room, holding some plastic bowl toys.  He enjoyed these bowls a lot.  Then Isabelle came over and tried to seize the toys from Eric’s hands.  Eric held the toys tight, and did not give in.  They did not seem to yield to each other.  I was on the spot, but for a moment, my mind was blank, and did not know how to handle the situation. Finally, I said,” No, Isabelle.”  Hearing this, Isabelle loosed her hands and walked away, while murmuring “I only want one of them”.  I felt I said something improper immediately.   At the same time, Eric approached to Isabelle and shared one of the bowls to Isabelle, which made me feel more at ease.

From the event, I can see that Eric was willing to share his toys with Isabelle, if she had just asked for them politely, which was verified by his deeds that he did share the toys after she loosed her hand.  Thumbs up to Eric!

I shared the story to Richard, and asked for his opinion how he would handle the case.  He said, “If you were not Eric’s mommy, then you handled it in a relatively proper way; but because you are Eric’s mommy, what you did made people doubt your intension:  you seemed to cover up for Eric.”

Richard was right. Then what should I do in a similar case? After thinking it over hardly, I think the proper way should be as following: –

First, I should still tell Isabelle that what she did was not correct since I was the teacher of the toddlers and I had the responsibility to correct her misbehavior. “Isabelle, it is not good to do like that. If you want some of the toys, you should ask for them politely.”

Secondly, I should ask Eric if he would like to share some of the toys.  “Eric, Isabelle would like to play with these toys too.  Would you like to share the bowls with her and play together? It is always good to share toys with friends.”

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