Kisses and Hugs

There’s a famous Chinese saying, “It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s difficult to live together.”  A cliché. But it’s so true.  To keep a healthy romantic relationship in marriage is not easy, it’s all about getting along, and it deals  with daily problems of livelihood.

I suddenly thought of a story in one episode of “Sex and city”, Carrie was so confused by her breaking wind in front of Mr. Big.  To her, this would stain their polished relationship.  Indeed.  To be in love is perfect and polished, but to be in marriage is full of daily trivial details.

Married couple is so intertwined and so interdependent that it’s difficult for them to maintain the sense of excitement they felt when they felt in love with each other.  There is a metaphor.  Holding the lover’s hands, one feels warm and excited in heart; while holding the wife’s hands, one feels it’s his left hand holding his right hand, which is too familiar to stir any excitement.

That’s why kisses and hugs are essential in a romantic and tender relationship.  In this article, the author Gretchen provided below points which I totally concur.

It’s easy to see that kissing, hugging, and touching would boost the tenderness in your romantic relationship. However, physical expressions of  affection can strengthen all sorts of connections.

…women who got hugs several times a day from their husbands had lower blood pressure than those who didn’t get hugged as often.

Expressing affection (in whatever way you express it) makes a big difference in relationships. For instance, people are 47% more likely to feel close to family members who frequently express affection than to those who rarely do so.

Kiss more and hug more is a fresh idea in my effort to maintain the relationship.  We Chinese people tend to be more conservative, and we seldom express our feelings publicly.  Once, I gave a kiss to hubby in front of Eric.  After that, I felt a little uneasy, so I tentatively said to Eric, “I just kissed daddy.” Eric replied, “Ok.”
With a clear tone implying “what’s the big deal?”  To him, it’s natural, because we often kiss him and say “I love you.” But such expressions of love and affection seldom happen between us husband and wife.  It’s kind of weird.  I know.  That’s why I put kisses and hugs on my to-do list so I’ll practice more with hubby and get used to them.

In the Chinese TV series “Farewell, Vancouver”, one of the heroes and heroines acted as a couple. Whenever they met each other at home after a daylong work, they’ll greet each other by hugs.  They did in such a natural, unsophisticated, and sincere way that I was always deeply impressed.  I used to wonder how come I could completely feel their happiness and their deep infatuation with each other through the little hugs.  Now I sorta know.  And I would like to put it into practice.


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