Gretchen Rubin’s this article really knocked me out. I have the desire for gold stars. I really do.
I want my efforts to be recognized. I want my achievements to be praised. I want my favors to be appreciated.
If they are ignored, I’ll feel very disappointed and tend to lose my temper and snap at people at some point (usually when the ignorance is accumulated to a certain level). I can’t help myself.
I know this is not good. I would like to find a way to change this kind of thinking.
Gretchen said “there is only love”. However, I often feel reluctance and resentment followed by a lot of “why’s”. I guess I need a lot of conscious practice and mental confirmation to make this commandment “there is only love” natural to me.
Gretchen also suggested that cultivating a self-congratulatory habit will ease the tension behind. This sounds easy and I’ll definitely give it a try.
Another way I think of to change the “gold stars” mindset is to reflect the good deeds and generosity that the involved person offered to me in the past. Focusing on the kindness of the person will make me feel grateful again and am willing to do some more things for him/her.
(Picture is from Internet.)