Relaxed

I have to be honest. I am a perfectionist. I want to be the best whatever I do.  Thus, I input my biggest effort and do as best as I can for everything I touch.

This is not good because 1) I seldom give myself enough time to relax and enjoy.  2) When reality doesn’t answer my expectation, I’ll feel disappointed. 3) Sometimes I expect other people will do their best too as a team in order to bring out the best outcome, and if they fail to do so, I’ll feel unhappy. 4) When I focus on perfecting the little things, I tend to forget the big picture and may digress from my main goals.

Now that I have realized the disadvantages of this personality, I’ll make effort to improve it.  How? Just learn to be relaxed.  Since I can pass an exam at 60 points or above, I’ll probably strive for 90 points at most, instead of the full 100 points.  Since we all live in a not-so-perfect reality, it is OK for the house to be a little messy, instead of sweating blood on spotless cleanliness. Since the other people don’t do their best and still live very happy and satisfactory lives, why should I affect their life style by expecting more from them? Why shouldn’t I keep one eye closed and be content with as is?

When Eric was little, I got a baby blue.  Very stressed.  Now when I looked back, I still felt not comfortable.  Now with little Daisy,  I constantly tell myself to be relaxed.  Thank the Lord, I didn’t get baby blue this time.  Yet, I’m still anxious over trivial things, such as when for Daisy to eat, why she ate so little, why she kept on crying, When she did her last popo, whether she felt too warm or too cold.  I don’t know why I worry so much.  I have prayed and given Daisy to Lord Jesus even before she was born.  She is a little lamb of Lord Jesus, and she is surely taken good care by Him.  Why should I worry so much?  What I shall do is just to be relaxed and enjoy her.

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