I admit that money occupies my mind a lot.
I don’t mean I love money, because in my eyes money is only a kind of tool, a medium for articles exchange.
Then why should I as a human being be confined to a tool? I gave it a second thought on my own question and found that I am actually bound to some worries and some longings.
My worries come from the insecurity feeling and uncertainty of future. Emergency fund is absolutely necessary. I’ll need to roughly calculate the money needed to put aside. Maintain a good mindset is even more important. I’ll learn to live in the present, instead of worrying the future, or agonizing the past. Not a time I realized that savoring life and being myself are higher level pursuit than material goals.
I have some material longings which can be achieved if I have more money. These longings play a much heavier role in confining my mind. One of them is a bigger house. My son likes to have a house with upstairs. I want a newer house with 4 bedrooms. But we can’t afford such a house for now. In some sense, to have some longings is good, because they turn into goals and motivate us keep going forward, like a carrot hanging in front of a donkey. But the thing to me is, sometimes I tend to overdo. I push myself too hard and get backfired on these goals. I couldn’t help anxiously keeping on thinking of possible solutions to achieve the goals within a short time frame, which is usually unrealistic. Then, with disappointment, I start to marvel at the power of money, helplessly. That’s a vicious circle.
However, if I am not so aggressive, I should know that our current house is a nice and big dwelling place to hold our family in. After all, home is not the building we dwell in, but it is the warm haven our family always refer to. What’s good if we really purchase a new house and move in? I’ll most likely have some new longings and still feel the pressure of lack of enough money. Honestly I don’t know how much money is enough to fulfill all these endless longings.
Learn to be content with what I have and feel grateful is the only solution to change all the money-related greedy mindset.